Be kissed the way you want to be kissed?

Follow these exercises -- and enjoy the results! 1. Take control: You and your partner are kissing. You gently start to take control by placing your hands on either side of his face, holding his cheeks and guiding his lips. In doing so, you are in control of the amount of pressure and motion of his mouth and, in turn, he feels the warmth of your hands. This can be especially good if your partner's mouth is too loose or open for you. Then it is your responsibility to kiss him as you LOVE TO BE KISSED.

2. Get him to follow your lead: Stop when you want and tell your partner, 'I just love kissing. It's the one thing that gets me ______________ [fill in the blank; for example, you might add the word 'hot' or 'turned on']. Then look at him and say, 'Will you show me what it feels like to be kissed by me?'

3. Introduce a fantasy: Tell him that you had a dream the other night about how he was kissing you -- and it was fabulous. Whether or not you actually had this dream, what you need to do is have an idea about what you want to ask for. So think ahead to how you want to blend the new kissing style or technique you want with what he already does. That way, you're not asking for a completely different thing and won't risk offending his ego.

If you can't manage to explain what you want fully using your dream, tell him, 'You did something like this' and then show him what you want. 4. Praise your partner: Let your partner know when he has kissed you right.

If he does something you really like, repeat it on him and ask if it feels as good to him as it did to you. To tweak his style, it's important that you use one-word directions, such as 'lighter,' 'left,' 'right,' etc. Men have shared with me that sentence-long guidance feels like criticism, while one-word comments sound like gentle direction. Remember that while you may feel that the more you tell, the better, he will be hearing your words through his own sexual gender filter. 5. Repeat: Don't assume that one time through will work. Men often need reminding (yes, even when it comes to better kissing and better sex). Repeat exercises 1-4 as often as necessary. And enjoy!